“To get better acceptance and understanding and empathy from our community, our parents, our churches … we adopted the heteronormative,” she said. Many women want to seem more palatable to the greater black community, still largely coming to terms with LGBT men and women in general, said Kai Brown, a vocal advocate for S4S visibility from Washington, D.C.
I think more of us would do it if there wasn’t a stigma.” “All studs are not anti-dating studs,” she said.
Moore said most women find it easier “to go with what’s normal.” Some are vehemently against S4S simply because it’s expected.”įor some black gay women already facing a trifecta of potential sources of discrimination, flying in the face of established community norms can seem overwhelming, said Shaquea Moore of Decatur. “Many straight men act aggressive towards gay men because they’re expected to, not because they actually feel resentment or disgust towards gay men. “Get this fag shit outta here,” wrote one commenter, identified as “Gully.” The article drew several comments illustrating how touchy the topic remains. She recently wrote about her own experience being approached by a fellow stud for the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. Generations later, many black lesbians continue to closely mirror cisgender men, even down to their homophobia, said Washington, D.C.-based writer Eden Carswell. During the 1950s heyday of butch/femme culture, black studs sported three-piece men’s suits and a perfectly coiffed femme on their arm – preferably in a gorgeous dress, according to the website Out History. “It’s really about what masculinity represents to people.”įor black lesbians, masculinity has long meant carefully mimicking black males. “It’s not really about sexuality,” she said. Society has told us you need this balance of power – you need someone to take care of things and the other to nurture,” Onuorah said. “When people see two masculine women together, they can’t process that.
The hit film has sparked spirited discussions at showings in Atlanta and across the country. Such pairings directly challenge antiquated ideas that have thrived in the LGBT community and beyond, said filmmaker Nneka Onuorah, whose 2015 documentary “The Same Difference” explored S4S themes. What’s slowly shifting, say community insiders, is the acceptance of couples where both women are definitively masculine. To be sure, there have always been femme-femme or so-called “no label” pairings among black LGBT women. ‘Society has told us you need this balance of power’ Kai Brown, a vocal advocate for ‘stud for stud’ visibility, says that many black lesbians adopt heteronormative roles to seem more palatable to the greater black community. But in black circles, where strict ideas of what it means to be a lesbian prevail, the evolution is causing celebration and controversy. Insiders say such relationships are old news among whites.
Stud for stud – or S4S – women are showing up on TV shows, forming online groups and openly turning their backs on rules that say Ms. More masculine-presenting black lesbians are embracing the idea of romance between butch women. Yet a low rumble of change is growing louder. In the love department, dapper studs date sultry femmes, according to decades-old cultural rules that have a particularly strong foothold among black LGBT women. Heteronormative gender roles are a signature of lesbian circles, influencing everything from body language to hairstyle. “I know a lot of stud on studs here in Atlanta,” said Robin, a customer service specialist who didn’t want to use her last name. Further, those labels limited socially acceptable couples to one type – a butch and a femme.Ī “soft stud” who likes other typically masculine-appearing women, Robin found her niche in the city’s small but growing community of “stud for stud” women. Being gay in Greensboro, North Carolina, is pretty simple: The LGBT community is small, so people like who they like, explained Robin, a 29-year-old black lesbian who was taken aback when she relocated to Atlanta a few years ago.įor starters, Atlanta women were into labels.